By Melissa Davies, Wise Ways Consulting
President Trump recently hosted his administration’s first state dinner with France’s President, Emmanuel Macron. France is the United States’s oldest ally. And as reported in the news, Trump and Macron appear to get along and like one another. In keeping with diplomatic protocol, Macron brought a gift, a Durmast oak sapling, a non-native oak tree. There was a photo shoot showing the two leaders planting the tree on the South Lawn of the White House – all was well.
That is, until the tree disappeared, having been pulled out of the ground. It turns out per a higher protocol, the USDA requires all non-native species to be quarantined to ensure they are not harboring invasive species or fungus. While it is highly unlikely the world leader brought a diseased tree, rules are rules.
All this to say that there are rules when it comes to formal working relationships. I’m not talking about crossing the no-dating each other line. I’m talking about the importance of developing solid relationships but respecting the boundaries.
Let’s take a look at a few relationship scenarios.
Salesperson and customer. If these two spend a lot of time together and agree on ideas and products, a natural affinity may develop. Yet if the two parties become too friendly, it could be seen as a conflict of interest.
Boss and subordinate. It’s natural to want to hire and work with people you like. Something to consider, though, when one person has hiring, firing, and salary setting power over the other, keep the relationship professional.
Buddy who becomes the boss. This is a tough relationship. When you become your friend’s boss everything can change. While you don’t have to ditch the relationship, it is worthwhile to set at-work boundaries and see if there is a way to change the reporting chain. If there isn’t, then you need to determine if this friendship will be able to weather this new season.
Peer and Peer working relationships. Like Trump and Macron, executives and managers with like positions and powers often find themselves working in industry groups, speaking on panels, setting policy, etc. It’s understandable for friendships to develop with people who share an affinity but always remember your role. Take care not to put yourself or your friend in a compromising position. Sometimes you’re not all in this (whatever this is) together.
Add to these relationship scenarios the layers of gender and age differences and the water cooler just gets murkier. Yes, do develop open and friendly relationships with the people whom you work. Often you spend more time with these people than your own family. Yet remember, there is a difference between the type of friend who you would help move or watch their kids, and the business friend who you meet up with for coffee as you pass through the airport, each on your way to the next industry event.
While it may be obvious to some, use caution with “friending” people on social media. Sometimes access into a professional friend’s private life maybe more than you want to see.
Melissa Davies is an executive leadership coach and facilitator as well as the author of “How Not to Act Like a BLEEP at Work”. She resides in Prince William County and runs Wise Ways Consulting, which specializes in leadership, management and team development, executive coaching, group facilitation and high-engagement training. She can be reached at info@wisewaysconsulting.com or through wisewaysconsulting.com
